Working in a kitchen, is reminiscent of watching your favorite soap opera. We gossip, we talk, we savor the juicy details, we chew on the nasty bits, there’s always drama. We’re working hard behind the line, but our eyes see everything.
Excuse Me, Say That Again!
Cook 2 – “Why don’t you speak to the chef about working pm shifts? You know that the dinner menu is more challenging than anything you’re doing for breakfast.”
Cook 3– “Right now is not a good time. My girlfriend and I work the same hours, if I worked the night shift, I wouldn’t see her.”
Cook 2 – “Tell me again, how much did you pay to go to culinary school?”
Cook 3– “$ 60K for my associate’s degree.”
Cook 2 – Wow, isn’t that some shit, a $60,000 omelet cook.
Is This Still True?
Cook 2 – “Times have changed, why are we so poorly paid? This company invests so much time and money in recruiting and training staff; you would think they would value that investment and pay us accordingly.”
Sous Chef– “As far as the company is concerned, they project that each employee will stay for two years, anything after that is a bonus. I’ve been here nearly seven years; I should have been gone a long time ago. You have to remember that the industry still believes that cooks are easy to train and replaceable.”
Cook 2 (laughing) – “Well I’ve been here 18 months. Does that mean I only have six months left?”
Chef I Don’t Understand
Cook 3 – “I say chef I don’t understand why I haven’t been promoted? My last review was very good, very good. But when I ask chef about promotion, he does his fingers like this and says, “almost there, almost there.” But I don’t know what “almost there” means.”
Good Job, Now Back to Work!
Cook 2 (Sighs) – “When I was off and the hotel was at 100% occupancy, they called – and I came. I was off the next day, they called and I still came into work. But instead of doing the right thing and giving me time to rest, they give another cook four days and split mine.”
I have a 10:30 Photo shoot
Chef (to his cook 2) – “Guess what? The overnight cook called off. Would you be able to pull a double tonight? I would really appreciate it; I have a 10:30 photo shoot tomorrow.”
Cook 3 – “I’m being trained by another cook 3 who’s learning the station just like me. But when I make a mistake he turns around and throws me under the bus!”
Learn By Doing
Sous Chef – “I got promoted three times in three years. I started here as a cook 3. Do you know how I did it? I adopted the demeanor and cooking techniques of those better than me. While they were training me, if they walked a certain way, I walked like them, if they held their knife like so, I held my knife like that. If they kept a rag in their apron I kept a rag in my apron. If they drank coca-cola, I drank coca-cola.”
Talk to Me!
Cook 1 – “Chef says I need to talk more, but I don’t like to complain. If there is work to be done, I just do it; I have no time for complaining.”
The Plain Truth
Cook 2 – “Those who work harder, work harder.”
Cook 3 (In the Locker Room) – “The only time I look forward to coming to work, is when I’m at work. What time is it, (Sigh) seven hours to go?”
Dining in a Recession
Diner – ( Joins the table where his girlfriend has been eating and says), “I’ll have exaxtly what she’s having.”
Server – “Okay sir, I’ll go ahead and ring your order into the kitchen.”
Diner – “Sorry, I think you misunderstood me, I said ” I’ll have what she’s having, could you reheat the rest of her entree please.”
Sous Chef – “Fire the fish! Fire the fish! How long on the Bass for table 42? Hold on, wait, don’t fire the Bass. (It’s the second course) How long on the Caesar? How long on the Caesar………………..?”
If it looks like a fish and swims like a fish, then it must be a ………..